10: Feed Back

13) Kainaz:

Hi Aneesh der r n number of drawbacks in ur stories.Firstly i feel d title is irrelevant.Der is no distinction between John n d other guy.I felt dey both were d same.D climax is nt understood.Ur storyline is weak.Many concepts were nt understood.Many grammatical mistakes were der n inappropriate words n sentences were used which were nt suitable at dat juncture.Wat u were trying 2 convey can't b comprehended by d readers.d CONVERSATION which took place between D GUY N D GIRL N between John n his friend cud nt b understood.lAST 2-3 CHPTERS WHERE U HD MENTIONED PURE FACTS WAS GUD.few poems were gud n in few poems d essence was destroyed bcoz of inappropriate words.Plz don't feel bad bt i only pointed out d mistakes so dat u can improvise on it.Al d best 4 ur future projects.

12)soly:

Nice to see that you are spending some time to create something beautiful………….
I wrote my special comments for two lessons’…….
And I feel that I am not a suitable person to make an overall opinion about this novel………..
But I can say your novel is something great and cute……
I am so happy to read your novel
And hoping something more……..

11)renjith.........:

READ IT MAN GOOD ONE TRY RIGHTING A LONGER 1 , A BIT DISCONTINUOS @ TIMES BUT GOOD AND if ur serious bout it keep a diary and dude work on this novel itself u can make it better. I would rate it @ 5 , hey dont get depressed by the ratings i am enviois of you coz u actually wrote a novel ,and i am an avid reader do not worry work on the same novel u can make it better read it completely

10)Liji said...

Dear ettaa
I felt so much joy in my heart when I saw the heading as "S-he".
Man & Woman- a combination of two entirely different chemistry. A competition among them, is it possible? The answer is explored here. Thank u so much.
Go on..

JaLpArI said...

well, i liked the detailed description... the way the boy fills up bulbs with water and then pours in ink.... and those kinda stuff... written beautifully....
8 on 10..... ( 2 marks lost coz of the little confusion that i had :D)

9) Raphael Alwin Said…

Hi,
The novel was an experience,and me,being a scrutinizer-turned-reader,has a few words at it.
In simple words,I would say this is a wonderful novellite,and the flow of the thread is very unique and merely flawless.Its been a wonderful experience.
The best thing about the creation,according to me is the easy presentation and the picturization of ‘Little John’ which has kept the same hue throughout,even the guy has undergone inevitable transitions as he grew into John-the man.Even the time brought changes to the outlook,the very inner is kept the same throughout,which is really a great thing.
A picturesque narration is there for anything that is important…That’s awesome.
I like this one- which gave her an instant Jesus Christ look.
::::Really amazing,when hair reminds of Jesus.
The request to god is very well crafted…so is the chat in the end.

Overall,it is a very good story,which has the potential to be published.
The work carry a high value as it successfully paints the life and frustrations of a man who is imprisoned in his own world.Its awesome...

8) George Vettom Said…

Dear ,
I have read your novel.You have the spark that crates a writer.But it seems you are rather impatient.You have not done your home work.It is from your heart-I conceed.But that is not sufficient.Your language is not up to the mark.Why cant u write in Malayalam?.I could have written-"It is great".But that will spoil u.Try to read.Read-Chekhov,Tolstoy,Mauposant,Balsak,steinbuck,Tharasankar Banergy ..............and finally-Dostoyvski.Spend your free time on reading. Read any thing from "A" to "U".
Best Wishes

7) Jule Jose Said…

good...
simply awsome....
they way it sgoes.. wonderful..
Little John and John...
cool.... perfect blend


6) Giby Said…

kollam
kollam
this is a good and sincere effort and you will see bright results coming out of it. atleast I am very confident on it.i read a magazine as a novel. i take days to complte a magazine for me a novel is like a 5 yr plan.to be frank i was very delighted the way you have played with words in the novel and i think i stand the end of the world in reading novels so if you have made me read the novel the half of the battle is already done for you.

Shinoj Sebastian Said…

dear, i finished novel. its fantastic. sadhnam ugran. i didnt understood the climax. may be i went through

it very fast. my mobile got e-book reader, so i am trying to download it to phone.

5)Swapna Said…

Hi

I finished reading your Work. It is really good. The way you written about all those bible quotes and those theories in physics... Wonderful.... Is this your real story ? He he.... simply asked... So when are you going

to publish it man?

4)Shinoj said...

this crap is fantastic!!!

JaLpArI said...

whats the difference between coincidence and fate??????/
doesn't fate guide coincidences???
--> you mention a seventh sense growing near your heart.. wats the sixth one?
--> i thot john was the author, all this while... he isn't? who's john???
--> i personally dont like mysterious people.... :D

3) JaLpArI said...

there are 3 things, really nice bout this post...
1. the poem...
2. that little john wanted to prove the world that maths isnt all that imp.... (john wud b doin me a gr8 favour in that)
3. the way you john collects his tears in the ink bottle... :)

2) SUNISH THOMAS said...

:)

1) -Varun said...

very true

Lesson 9: The Beginning

Part: A


She: Hello
He: O, Hell!
She: What is that??
He: That is the echo.


He: A truth untold is as good as a lie.
She: A truth unfolds only when you seek.

He: There is no absolute truth
She: Yea, this must be an absolute truth.
He: Love the truth, and be true to love.
She: :)

She: I want to tell u something.
He: No need.
She: Why?
He: Ignorance is bliss.
She: Do you hate me?
He: Why should I?
But I definitely will, if I get a reason.:)

She: What do you think about me now?
He: “If you start judging people you will be having no time to love them-Mother Teresa”
She: Nice.
She: How did you spend the weekends?
He: Lot of music, Lot of prayer, few poems...
She: Did you say the word “prayer”?
He: yes
She: "Religion is the opiate of the people" - Karl Marx.
He: Music too.
She: Did you feel lonely?
He: “It would do the world good if every man would compel himself occasionally to be absolutely alone. Language... has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone.”
She: So the answer is?
He: Little bit loneliness, lot of solitude.
She: “Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.”...
He: Yea, Correct.
She: When did you start writing poems?
She: I heard - “At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet”-Plato.


He: Not exactly.
When someone falls in love, he becomes a poet.
When he loses it, he becomes a philosopher.
When he matures as a philosopher, he becomes a man again.
She: What are you now?
He: :)
She: At least I could be a cause for some good things in your life.
He: Cause or Curse ? But -“Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.”
She: you are so cruel!
He: Just kidding!!
She: I feel sad to see things are not happening with me as the way I want.
He: “You won’t always get what you want. Sometimes you get what you need".-Mick Jagger
She: Funny enough to think, serious enough to laugh.
She: “The Irony Of Life is That It s Lived Forward, But Understood Backward”
He: It can’t be called as irony. In fact that is what it makes special!
He: “Life is 10 percent what you make it, and 90 percent how you take it.”
She: Hmm.


She: What kind of music that you listen to?
He: I listen to all kind of music that makes me happy.
She: “If music is the food of love, play on.”
She: Did you enjoy your writing experience?
He: yes, I did.
"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."
She: Great.
He: You don’t need to be a great to be a great.:)
She: What do you write about?
He: It is about discoveries and re-discoveries. Like loosing something and gaining something else.
He: “I love writing about the idea of loss because I like the idea of being found”.-Cecelia
She: Can I see what you write so far?
He: I am afraid if it offends you in any possible manner.
Nothing is good if it does not make someone’s life a bit happier. Everything is bad if it makes someone sadder at any point of time in any possible way.
She: Since you are human you are bound to hurt someone for sure.
He: May b 99%. Let us stick with the rest.
She: “LIFE is like a piano, the white keys represent HAPPINESS and black keys SADNESS. But as we go through LIFE's journey, remember that black keys make music too."
He: “Good Music is something that cannot be played perfectly”

She: In nature- “Nothing is perfect”.
He: And also "Practice makes perfection." Then why should we practice?
She: Can I ask you something?
He: Yes, Sure.
She: What is the meaning of falling in love?
He: Love is not finding someone to live with. Its finding some one whom you can’t live without.
She: “Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.”- Mencken
He: “Imagination is better than intelligence”- Einstein
She: :)
She: Thanks.
He: For?
She: Thanks for teaching me a lot.
He: “When the student is ready, teacher will appear”.
She: :)
He: :)


She: "I try to teach my heart not to want things it can't have".-Alice walker
He: ,
She: Nothing more.
She: .
He: Okay, fine.
He: .



That was the final and last chat with her. He did not feel bad about all what happened. He tried to delete the visible differences between her and the rest of the girls. He was expecting a woman but she was in a girl in her mid-teens.
Hence he deduced that she was no longer the girl he was looking for.
He removed her name from his buddy list in Google talk.

Part: B


One night before going to bed, Little John took his Bible and started reading from a random page.


“For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to break down and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.”

- Ecclesiastes 3:1

He could not understand much. However he closed the bible and slept well.


Part: C


Days made weeks. Weeks made months. Many moths passed.
In a perfect day, she came again to his life to disturb.
This time she did not tell her name or what it sounds like. Neither did him. After all he never believed in any sort of personal acquaintance with any of the girls.


He: Hi
She: Hi
He: Good Morning.
She: Very Good Morning.
He: How are you doing today?
She: Exactly like a normal day.
He: :)
She: :)
He: Do you still treat me like a stranger?
She: Hmm, may not be.
She: What happened now?
He: It had been five months since we are chatting.
She: So?
He: You have not told me your real name yet?
She: What are you going to do with the real name now?
He: Okay, leave it. I won’t ask you again.
She: Cheer up man, my name is Gracy.
She: And what about you?:)
He: :)
He: I am John.

Lesson 8: The True Lie

They did not meet for two weeks. They did not talk over the phone.
After few more days one of his friends told that she left the job before two weeks, and left Bangalore.
He could not believe the news.
He felt anger.
He felt like betrayed.
He felt ugly.
How could she just get disappeared like that?
Even without saying a word?
He tried with different combination of puzzle blocks.
Nothing seemed to be fitting the board.
He took the phone and deleted her number, then all her messages.
Many more days, many more nights…
Somebody told him about her husband, a husband for more than three years.

He felt funny, then empty, then null, then void and then absolutely nothing.

He felt like writing a poem after thinking in Tamil.

It goes like this:
ஆயிரத்தில் நன் ஒருவன் ,
// I am the one in Thousand.
பதினாயிரத்தில் அவள் ஒருவள்,
// She is the one in ten thousand.
லக்ஷத்தில் அவன் ஒருவன் ,
//He is the one in lakh.
அவளுக்கு அவன் ஒரே ஒருவன் ,
// For her he is the only one
அவளுக்கு நான் வேறொருவன் ,
// For her I am just somebody else
எனக்கே என்க்கேன்பது யார் ?
// Who is the one who is “just mine’
தூதர வைத்து கடவுள் ,
//It is the God who made the thought in me
தோன்றி விட்டது அவள் முக்சம் ,
// It is her face which ignited it
கொன்றுவிட்டது அவள் நினைவு,
//It is her thought that propelled it
அது ஒரு துளியாக ,
// It became a drop
ஒரு மலையாக,
// It became a rain
ஒரு கடலாக,
// It became an ocean
அந்த வெள்ளத்தில் நான் ,
//In that flood of water
என்னையே கொள்ளவிடதேவய ?
//Is it necessary that I should drown myself in that flood?

He felt better and happy.
Antha vellathil naan , ennaye kollavidathevaya?
He liked that line.
No. Not necessary. I won`t .Never.
Whenever he felt sad, he repeated this question and answer.
That was an immense relief.
Some time in night he started reading bible.


“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
Love never fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

[1 Corinthians 13:1-8a and 13]


This happened to be the second revelation for him.

At this point of time, it appeared to be answers for many of his questions.

He red it again and again for John, who was listening to him:

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

They both liked it very much. They had a talk after that.

He: Hey, John.
John: Hmm.
He: Is water and fire is related?
John: Yes, fire is another form of water. They are very much same but different.
He: Who is more powerful? Fire or water?
John: I don’t know.
He: Okay. Imagine a dry forest.
Imagine a spark of fire which can light up a dry piece of grass, then a leaf, then a tree and then the whole forest. Then think about a drop of water falling from sky to this wildfire. It can’t do anything right?

John imagined a spark of fire, a dry grass, a leaf, a tree, a forest, a big wildfire a drop of water falling from sky.
John shuffled the order of events and asked another question.
John: What if the drop of water falls on the spark?
They smiled.

Lesson 7: The Belief system

Part: A


Monsoon was over. Winter came right after that. The world was preparing for Christmas and New Year. He was wondering how this New Year is going to be different from the past. He felt utter disappointment to be in office. During night, when the whole world is celebrating Christmas he was staring at monitor trouble shooting somebody’s computer . The same happened for New Year night also.
He decided to leave the current job as soon as possible, at any cost.

Someday when they met at coffee table, she asked about his religion.
To be precise she asked him whether he is an atheist or theist.
He was not someone who goes to church everyday. Not even on Sundays. He never wore anything which could give a hint on his religion.

He never bothered to think about God; just because he believed him completely. He did not bother to visit churches; just because he felt the presence of God in everything, everybody and everywhere.

He always preferred to follow his instincts. He believed Christ and Krishna are related since their childhood, and Christ grew up listening to Buddha’s fables. He tried to read Upanishads in Bible and Bible in Upanishads.
The similarity in Christian trinity and Hindu trinity did not amuse him.
For him it was how it is destined to be. Religion was a signboard, not the ultimate destination. Every religion directs to the same destination even though the board may have different looks with different fonts. The law of conservation of energy states that energy may neither be created nor destroyed. Energy in a system may take on various forms (e.g. kinetic, potential, heat, light). It sounds more like a biblical quote.
One God; Different forms.
Reading genesis reminds him about Big Bang theory [universe originated approximately 20 billion years ago from the violent explosion of a very small agglomeration of matter of extremely high density and temperature.] as it perfectly complimented the other.
For him all physical phenomenons start with physics and ends up with theology.
Brahma, Energy and God... They all fall in a straight line.
When his religion proclaimed that it is the only way under the earth to reach God, he felt funny.

"Thou shalt have no other gods before me."

- First one in the Ten Commandments.

It sounds as if somebody got an insecurity feeling.

“Yahweh thundered from heaven, The Most High uttered his voice.”

Thunder and lighting; Light and sound. He loved music. He loved dance. He loved music videos and live concerts. That was the nearest of experiencing cosmic energy. Something related to “Shiv Thandav”. He liked Michael Jackson because he embodied light, sound and energy.

He saw most of the Christian Bishops living in palaces. They had high end vehicles to travel. They had mansions with air conditioned rooms. He could not understand how they all are going to practice the virtue of Poverty, while immersed in such luxurious life style.
They were called ‘Fathers’.
They let people kiss their upper palm.
He wondered how they are different from medieval land lords?
They were supposed to live with common people, down to earth.

He thought about Jesus Christ’s birthplace.
He thought about his disciples who were fishermen.
He thought about Pharisees.
Obviously something is missing now and lot of things added.
And the absence is more evident than ever.

On that day he went to the church and confessed after almost a decade. He felt extremely happy about it. At least theoretically he is a saint for few seconds. If he dies at that point of time, he will definitely make it to the heaven.

He started reading Bible.

“There are three things that amaze me—
No, four things that I don’t understand:
How an eagle glides through the sky,
How a snake slithers on a rock,
How a ship navigates the ocean,
How a man loves a woman.”

It was Proverbs 30:18-19.

He thought:

“There are three things that amaze me—
No, four things that I don’t understand:
Who wears the cloths that they show in fashion TV?
Why most of the priests use the same funny tune in their Sunday speech?
What kind of subjects make the lovers talk for hours and hours,
How a woman loves a man.”
Any clues?

Part: B

Whenever little John went to any new place with his mom, they used to visit the nearby church.

Once his mother told him that if you are in a church for the first time he can ask three blessings which will be granted for sure. His world was full of mythical characters from MahaBharatha. MahaBharatha was being telecasted on every Sunday morning at ten A.M. There were many dramatic scenes in it. When the arrow is released, the trajectory is shown with a green back ground. But the war ground was a desert. One arrow from this side will hit exactly at the tip of opponents arrow, making few sparks all around before falling on ground together.





He used to make bow and arrows with his brothers and aim at flowers and plants. Later they improvised their weapon by fixing broken blades at the tip of thin sticks which they used to call as arrow.


In all those church visiting had a set of three blessings to ask.
They were:
My dear God,
(1) I want the power of thousand elephants like Prince Bheema.
(2) I want the power of ten thousand elephants like King Drutharashtra.
Drutharashtra was blind and he was the father of Kouravas, the villains.
He thought at least one of the above two will get granted which is almost more than what he needed.
(3) The third blessings depend on the ambiance and mood generally.
It can be either
(3.a) Give me the power to fly or (3.b) give me the ability to be invisible.
He thought about flying around the school during intervals especially to reach near the pipes to wash the hands before lunch so that he can be the first.
The idea of punching those baddies hard, and go invisible when they complaint to teachers made him so happy.

Lesson 6: The Divine Intervention

He was worried, tensed, and out of control.
He never thought one day he will have to think like this.
He was ashamed to look at mirror.
Tension grew up exponentially. It was an ordeal for four days.
At end of fourth day he saw the line between being normal and abnormal diminishing rapidly.

When people around asked him about the uneasiness, he just ignored. How can he answer them when he himself doesn’t know it?
Sometimes the answers seemed to be quiet simple and the questions seemed to be complex.
He believed the almighty will intervene with his problems and solve them.
He listened to the songs played in the buses, listened to the Radio Jockeys, looked at the movie posters in the street curiously.

On the following day he met her on chat .

He: Hi.
She: iH !.
He: What is that ???
She: That is the echo!!
She: :)
He: :)
She: Something is wrong with you.
She: What happened to you?
He: I am in the process of figuring it out.
She: Happiness will get multiplied if you share with someone.
You will feel better if you could tell me what is bothering you so much?
He: It is like, some sort of confusion or like choosing from many options.
I will tell you the full story if you have got time.
She: yea, please.
He: Yesterday, I spent so much time to understand the issue that is bothering me.
[An Occasional “Hmm” can be considered as a comma.]
She: HMM, :).
He: There are some core ideas which I believe to be correct.
She: ok, good.
She: Hmm
She: ,

He: ohh, u do not need to put a comma. I will assume it.
She: good, :)
He: Rule 1)
Do not hurt anyone; never harm anyone, b gentle to the maximum extent. (More rules may follow in appropriate time.)
She: K.

He: One fine day, he saw some one.
She was coming inside the office and this guy was going outside.
Suddenly the bells rang, bulbs were switched on. [Reference:Mozhi Tamil Film]



She: :).Okay
He: He thought about one rule. "Believe in love at first sight”.
She: k
He: The second rule also heard in the back round- “all that glitter is not gold".

The problem started at that point of time.

She: oh. :(
He: How can u say u are in love with someone just by seeing once.
So it was deducted as a perfectly ridiculous thought.
She: hmm

He: Spending time with some one , knowing their character and all those crap only points to a better possibility of "Being in Love”. You know it is some degree of lovability.
She: hmmm
He: How much time u need to know some one? Is there a time limit? 6 months, 1 year?
And there are instances where couples break up after 25 years of marriage.

She: Knowing one person and loving them is not the same...
Even a husband and wife who were together for 50 years cant understand 25% of each other.
He: oh...
She: understanding a person practically is just to know whether they can get along trouble less. It is all about adjustability factor.Not about lovability.

He: hmm that is a moderate and simple approach.
She: hmmm
He: Next comes a quote:
She: k
He: 1) Every man is an island. Then , I should say that every woman is an Universe.
She: oh... That is a quotable quote...

He: I felt that quote about first love works fine since:
1) It is natural
2) Spontaneous
3) It comes as part of vital urge from soul.
[I love nature and obey rules set by nature].
She: okay...okay…
He: The next very funny and ideal law in which I believe is that "The attraction between a man and woman must be the result of bi-directional chemical and psychological process and natural flow set by nature must not be altered".
That is: No words are needed.
No actions are required.
Eyes should talk; hearts should feel 4 each other.
Again a pretty good and stupid concept
She: hmmm. People are different. So their concepts…
He: The law fails in simple scenario when the girl in the other ends also a believe in this law.
She: Don’t expect somebody else to think like you.

Law of nature also says that individuals are unique. Only thing you can do is accept her as the way she is.
okay... ?

He: but how can someone b that clever, not to show any sort of response in any visible modes leaving the Boy to search in the dark?
She: ya... it is not the matter of being clever.
Most of us are like that including me.
I can say girls i know are mostly comes under this category... but exceptions are there.
He: You like that idea or you are like that?
She: am saying i can be rude enough to hide my feelings.
Actually it’s kind of making myself a fool. But at times the situation demands so.
He: hmm
He: then how do u expect the boys to understand that so called situations or who knows if he still searching in dark for the non existing possibilities?
She: for one found the method of 'proposing'.
He: How can u expect boys to flirt with girls with a proposal? How can u intrude in to somebody’s emotional space and beg her to marry him?
Or ask her to show mercy on him?
How does he know if she got a boyfriend already?

She: the art of proposing has its on risks... But its the solution for many questions.
Like,
1. It declares ones love.
2. Gets a proper reply.
3. Better understanding
4. Relief from the pain.
He: I do not want to be Stubborn .Please don’t get irritated.
Do u really expect someone to be like this?
She: I don’t want to break anybody’s rules.... but am selfish enough to stand on my points at times
He: ok, fine
She: k
He: if u feel the beginning of irritation just tell me.
How can u node your head for a proposal from some one whom u really don’t know well?
When some one can say he or she is in love?
Is that really called as “Love” or “A better possibility of being in love “?
She: yes...
The person whom you love may not have that feeling towards u...
Friends can have a relationship of chemistry...
Which can be easily mistaken for love.

Its nobody`s fault…
It just happens …
One can love the other one in many different ways...
He: But that was clear enough. There ends my confusing questions.
Thanks for listening and spending so much time with me.
Helping me with my trouble. :)
Teaching and sharing so many facts patiently.
Hopefully this will minimize the intensity of issues. :)
She: Hei???
wat happened?
He: I was just wondering how girls think. But u have cleared so many doubts in that
:)
She: sorry if am taking over freedom...'are u going to propose?'
He: I must, right?
She: hmm ... Even though it can hurt.
She: and one more question...who is she?
He: She is one of my friends.
She: hmmm
He: She is not yet my girl friend, but a girl who happened to be a friend or a friend who happened to be a girl.
She: Ok. You don’t want to tell who she is...
:)
He: U r being cruel to me
She: Sorry, sorry, just asked, leave it
He: No, Just kidding .

She: okay
Then tell na?

She: 7 minutes. No answer?

He: Ok, to be frank I must not be in love with her, even though something inside me has started betraying me. But what I see is a fine possibility, a hope for a better life in a better world. And I believe toying up the idea of future not a good idea. I do not want to hurt anyone by being an unwelcome-ed guest at wrong time.
It is too early to say I am in love.
She: no comments
:)
He: When u propose someone u are also promising a better future for her. I want to make that for her first, and then invite her
She: :)
He: Proposal comes with responsibility. I do not want her to breed the thoughts and dreams about unpredictable future right now.
She: no comments
:)

Lesson 5: The Rain

Part :A


They were standing near an open space, where the nature was lavishly painted in green. It was not a rainy season. It was supposed to be a sunny day . But it was about to rain. She looked like an angel in that night.

She: It is getting cloudy
It was like this for a long time
Why the rain has not started yet?

He: Hmm, yes, it is real damn cloudy.
Sounds like words has lost its charm
Looks like world has lost its beauty.

She: Can it be darker than this?

He: Moonlight has lost the glow,
There is only wind. But not breeze.
Is there something called black light?
Or something like a white hole instead of black hole?
Can we just get vaporized in to thin air?

She: Why? Don’t you want people look at you?

He: I feel like naked when the people look at me.
I don’t want to be seen at all

She: Hey, wait a minute.
Have you ever tried to stare at blue sky?

He: Hmm, a lot.
If you care enough you can see colorless bubbles coming down to earth. Thousands of bubbles. The funny thing is that neither it will burst nor you can touch it.

She: Interesting! What must be that?

He: Who knows? But I used to see them.
Everybody sees everything. And knows everything.
But pretend as if they don’t know anything. And try to hide all from all.

She: Enough man!

He: Never mind, it is raining now. Let us walk in rain.

It was raining, but not sharp enough to hurt their skin. They walked in the rain in full moon light. They felt the wet leaves, with finger tip and touched the water drops.
Smelt the flowers as if they see it for the first time. Some flowers blossom only at night. They must be expecting someone who comes only in night, to give them Moksha..

There were weeds around; Many with thorns. It made bleeding scratches in his feet. He did not bother to look it. The night became saturated with black. There was a light beam on the far end .She led him to that light.
He just followed her like a kid.
He was charmed.
Then they reached a point where the way ends.
She stopped walking and looked at his face.
He wondered how beautiful she was in the moonlight.

She came near him and kissed his palm.
Then she kissed his forehead.
Then she kissed his eyes.
Then she kissed his lips.

He felt as if the time frozen around them.
The rain has stopped after long time.
His knees became weaker and weaker.
At last he fell on the wet grass.

She just walked away with his soul.
She was an angel, an angel of death.

He got up by that time, looked at the watch, drank some water, closed the window near his bed, switched off the fan and started sleeping again.
It was raining heavily outside.



Part: B


Years back, when John was little John he loved to play with water.
He used to spend time in catching fishes in nearby streams with an old towel. The fish with a fluorescent dot on forehead was plenty. He used to collect white stones from those streams. He had one small stone which is most special. If you look at it from one particular side you can see a layer of multiple colors. Just like the colors in the rainbow.

Another favorite item was collecting non usable bulbs. He was good in removing the filament from it without breaking the outer glass. Once it is ready he will fill it with water and use it as a lens, so that he can lit cotton or paper pieces. After that he would take his hero pen and drip a drop of blue ink in to the bulb. The design created when the blue drop mixed with water before it touches the inner side of the glass wall was one of his favorite.

How to Do?

Keep a green leaf on top of a white paper . Dip an old toothbrush in to the bottle and spray the ink to the white paper using the forefinger. This will result in a beautiful design on the paper.

If you don’t like it, you can dip a small cotton string in to the ink bottle.
Take it and carefully put in between any old notebook pages.
Press the notebook lightly after closing it. Pull out the string in the same time. Here the result will be a design which often looks like a wild flower.

And it is easy to make a picture of Sun in a notebook page. All you have to do is drip a drop of water in to the page, which is filled by blue ink writings. And wait to get it dried. When it is half dried, the small circle will have a wavy surface outlined with thin blue lines.
When it is completely dried, the small circle will have a rough feel.

Lesson 4: The Awakening

Many days passed. His life became simple at one end but more complicated and confusing at the other end. It felt as if something shameful happened to him, but could not identify what it is. Everyday he got up with her thought, finished the work with the thought , and went to sleep with the same.
Then she started visiting him in dreams. They never talked anything about romance or love. But knowing her more is like knowing himself more. There were a lot in common with them. Sometimes he tried to believe it is just coincidence. But most of the time it was fate.

He was sure that he is not in love with her. But he really felt like loving her. A strong desire to fall in love.
He preferred to walk in to the love rather than falling in it blindly. He was looking for answers. Answers from Almighty, answers for him.
In search of it, he looked at the sky for some pattern. Tried to read the name of the shops, advertisement captions, and random letters in newspapers hoping for a clue or direction.
The words- crush and crash looked very similar.

After many years he talked with John about his problems. John was his best friend.
They were always together, all the time. In fact they thought like two different souls in one body.

He: Everybody is different.
John: Hmm, some time unique. Some time strange too.
He: I don’t want to hurt anyone including myself. This girl is A to Z confusing. She just won’t give a clue.
John: wow being mysterious is nice!
He: It drives me nuts. Is that what we call egoism?
John: Be a good friend to her....
He: Yes I am trying.
John: then you will know her better.
He: hmm , yes.
He:
It is like…..
She like the taste of my blood but not the color
Like……

John: OOoo. IS she A DRACULA ?
He: Man, don’t be that funny. Just listen to me…
John: Ok, ok. Listening…

He: She wants me to laugh
But not to smile
She wants to hear me talking
But not what I am telling
She likes to node her head when I do the talking
But that does not mean she understands all
She wants me to open up more
That does not mean she does the same to me
She prefers me to get up and play harder
But I am not used to play for the gallery

It seems
For her
All the bridges are “ONE WAY ONLY “by default


Buddha Says:
"Don’t expect anything”
Cause expectation is the cause of all evils
Bible says:
“What is the use of living because, nothing is real? ".
Upanishads says:
"All is Mithya, Maya".
Bhagavath Geetah says:
“What you see is not what they are,
What you have is not that you bought”.
Am not sure why am telling these entire collective crap to you now.
Just felt, thought and did.
If you ask me, "Do you love her”?
I must say yes. But I prefer to say no.
If you ask me, "Do u hate her?”
I must say no. But I prefer to say yes.
The basic idea is – I don’t want to go somewhere, where I am not expected.

John: Hey, what happened to you?
Are you taking any high dose of antibiotics?
What make you think like these?

He: Please. Please let me explain. Let me explain why I think like this.
John: Yes, please.


He: It may be a fact that she loves somebody else.
It may be a fact that I don’t even play a shadow in her private world. But it is also a fact is that she is the first girl, woman who ignited my mind with her smile for the first time.

Did you hear this song?
"Punnakayil thee mootri ponale!!!"
[The one who can set things on fire with a smile]



I am not going to climb Everest if I get her.
And am not going to jump down from Everest if I lose her
Her face can make me happy,
Her face can make me sad also.
She reminds me the past
Sometimes future also
She acts like a start point,
Sometimes end point also.
She makes the living a total bliss
And sometimes a total mess.

John: Good, go ahead without breaking the chain.
He: Sometimes heaven.
Sometimes hell too.
She brings hope.
To make me another Desperado.
She reminds me the good angel of life.
Sometimes an angel of death too.
One half of me push forward.
One half pull me backward.
If u look at her eyes,
You can see the universe
If she smiles at you
You feel like -Your heart being filled with boiling ice cubes.
Suddenly
You can feel the warmth of moonlight
And chillness of Sun.
Suddenly
It feels like the entire world is created just for you
You feel like all the romantic songs are written keeping you in mind.
You feel like Hariharan,



Pankaj Udas,



Lucky Ali



and
Enrique Iglesias -


All are here in this planet just for you.
You feel like there is a seventh sense growing right near your heart.
Feeling some sort of absolute harmony with Universe for the first time in life.
You may wonder how I could miss all these beautiful things around for such a long time.
You feel like jumping in street.
Shouting in church during Holy mass.
Dancing at office.
Suddenly
You feel like words are just not enough to express
Or
World is just not enough for an expression.
You may breathe so hard,
Yet you will not feel like suffocated.

Suddenly
You will be aware of a new persona growing right inside your head,
Desperately trying to appreciate all good things happening around you
Sometimes it may hurt you.
Sometimes it can make you happy
She may redefine your concepts of life
Often -forcefully-
Something that you thought to be correct till the end of Universe.
And one day she may come near and tell you
Dear, So far everything was simply great and fine.
I had a great time with you.
It was so nice to be with you.
It was so good to hear you talking.
You are sooooo good
I will pray to god that you get the best girl in the world.
You know, you really deserve a better girl than me.
Even if it happens to me in the near future
I will be glad to say that
She, her thought (to be precise)
Made me realize
that there were many ME`s inside me
There are many people who love Taj Mahal.
But you can’t say you must own it, right?

Lesson 3: City, the universe

Part: A



He decided to find a job after earning a degree . And reaching Bangalore as earlier, as possible made perfect sense. It was nice to see different states, people, culture, language all at one stretch. He was not in a mood to get tensed about thinking future .

As usual he spent the traveling time in singing his favorite songs. He liked the idea of singing in bus very much because when the bus moves no one can really hear anything. But he will be in a sonic illusion which force him to believe he is the best singer around. That made him so happy. He made sure his pitch is in sync with the gear shifting of the bus.

There is one more custom he religiously follows in every bus journey.
Just before getting down from it he used to look at the black tinted glass behind the driver. That was a naughty spot in the bus according to him. If you look at the glass you can see the reflection of people who sit in the first row. And if you are lucky enough there will be pretty faces.
Since he was lucky on that day, he found one. While trying to animate the vague image he realized that those eyes in the reflection spot an irritated look. He could not believe it.
Somebody found out his secret.

After few days of job hunt, he got into a technical support center. His life resumed after inverting day and night time zones. Every employee had their pick up and drop off by Company’s cab. That was comfortable. After many months he found a familiar pair of eyes with a relaxed look in the rear view mirror. He recognized it but did not want to talk to her or get along with her.

After sharing same cab for many weeks she decided to break the ice between them. She told her name. This time the name meant an ancient Hindu mantra. She was a Brahmin who got trained in classical music and dance. Her brother was a singer too. So many things were happened after that. They shared their common interests, work environment, ambitions, music and a lot. Within half an hour they felt like they know each other for the last thirty years. Once the ice is broken it was like a flood.
After their shift they saw each other in day light.
When it happened he thought about a film in which the hero sees the heroine for the first time. For a split second- in a lighting-during a rainy night.



Her name was not Gracy John. But her face was full of Grace. There were some sorts of energy around her. He felt the sound of thunder for a split second. But he felt like the lighting is refusing to fade. They never talked about everything under the sky. But when they talked about something, it was like there is nothing else under the sky. She had a degree in physics. And Physics was his favourite subject at School.


Part: B

Little John’s family never lived in city. They used to stay far away from cities. In those times, electricity was an occasional visitor.
During night, at least one hour they spent time in talking each other, discussing and planning for future. Since most of the things they said were so elderly, he spent time in gazing at stars with his brothers. Most of the time the sky would be clear, showing all the stars.

His brothers told some of the moving things in the sky are spy satellites and some are other planets. One brother told him that the hottest star will look blue and coolest star will look red . He could not understand why. The second brother told him that the light from star will take years to reach the earth and by the time it reaches here the star may not be there. He did not understand it. Still he liked that idea.

Playing music in the night was another favorite pastime for Little John. He had some instruments with him. One battery charged organ, one harmonica, one palm guitar made up of Colgate paste cover and one flute made up of papaya stem.

He was never trained in music. He thought since music is a heavenly gift from God, human should not try to bind it with earthly rules. All he does with his organ is pressing the keys from one end to other end . Harmonica was broken at one edge enough to hurt the lips. Palm guitar and flute were his favorite since he could assemble it and breathe life to them.


He did not really play all of these. Just making them and touching them made him happy. The electric organ had a special smell if you smell it deep. Once you keep the papaya flute near your lips, under your nose you can smell the green color and you can taste the colorless liquid that oozes out at the square holes.

In the school he had to learn a chapter about Beethoven. The scene where Beethoven feels the rain for inspiration and his sprint towards home to make a note of music inspired by it haunted him. During full moon nights he used to open his bedroom windows and play his instruments in low volume. He was afraid of darkness. Still he liked the thrill. He thought of about Gandharvas. He wondered why there were no females in Gandharvas.

How to Do?

You need a medium sized Colgate paste cover and few rubber bands.
Rubber bands should be stretchable enough. And you need to make a small square hole in the cover with a blade. You can put candle piece in between the rubber bands and the cover. This can make enough sound in silent night.
Making papaya flute is even easier. Take a healthy stem and cut both the ends with the blade. Close one open end with a piece of soft plastic cover. Make eight holes starting from closed end with the blade. Making square holes is easy in the stem. That is all.

Lesson 2: The University

Part: A



When he thought about joining an engineering college he thought it is the place where people invent, discover things daily. He visualized that place with old professors with long white hairs and a bunch of disciples following them between class room and labs. Well, that was not exactly things were in the real world. After the first day itself he concluded that the way system works is just not fine. He decided to change the system. He looked around. He fought against almost everything that came in his way. He thought he is the chosen one against all the evil forces on earth. The crusader of truth. The silent rebel.

It took him two years to find the way he fights against the system is not just fine. It took one more year to understand that he was among the worst students in the class. In the final year he understood that he is the only one who is responsible for everything that happened in his life. It was too late to do something.

He hid himself in his hostel room. He did not cry. He did not laugh.
All his thought had a dark shadow. That was the time when his face looked pale and his thoughts became darker than black. He was the dead man in the campus.



He wrote few poems too. One goes like this:

What I want to tell is
Not that I want to write.
What I am writing is
Not that you want to read.

When I made up my mind,
I found myself searching in the wrong place.
When I reached the right place,
You are not there to hear me.
When you started hearing me,
I lost my words.

Never mind, after all words are incomplete.


In one evening he was passionately kissing his teacup in front of his hostel room. That was on the third floor. He was staring at the ground far below. Altogether his life was a messy affair. It was not quiet interesting, not colorful as it should be. He was depressed to the core.

Galileo's Leaning Tower of Pisa experiment came to his mind first with some more high school physics concepts.
Weight = mass multiplied by acceleration of gravity, where g = 9.8 m/s² (meters per seconds-squared).
He was around seventy five kilograms at that time.
The thought process was broken when someone came near him. That guy gave him a book and said “Buddy, you need this”. He finished the book within two days. That was a kind of sacred revelation to him. He became a new man. That was a sea change.

Part: B


Somebody asked Little John about his ambition. For a primary school kid that was a new concept. After thinking for a while, he decided on being a scientist.
What kind of scientist?
He looked around. His home was in a tea estate. And a lot of plants, and green leaves. He decided to be a plant scientist. But he knew he needs to discover something to be a scientist. What can he discover?
He looked around. More and more greenery and flowers. He thought he will discover the biggest flower in the world. But since it is the biggest, lot of people might have seen it already. So I will discover the smallest one, he said to himself.
His days became busier. He started looking more curiously to the environment. One day on the way to school, he found it. The smallest flower in the world. It had a size of an ant. He found it in the sand in between the metal pieces of the road. There was an entire family of that plant with many flowers hiding between metal pieces. He felt really good about his discovery

Part: C


Little John was in the verge of crying. He felt a burning sensation in his ears. It was hot with red color. Hence, red-hot. They were trying to teach him mathematics. The kind, which involves lots of Sine and Cose. He tried to memorize the equation, but he could not. It is not that he didn’t try. He did try. He tried to imagine it. But he could not.
He tried to make a connection between them. He tried to guess. He tried to find a pattern in it. But he could not. They asked him basic multiplication tables. He was so poor in that too. When they say add or subtract he imagined a big numeric table with all the numbers pasted on it. But even that proved futile.
He wondered why it takes at least few seconds to raise his left or right hand when asked to do so. Every time he needs to refresh about the eating habits to determine the right hand. In the mean time lot of knocks and hits bombarded on top his head. Fists of fury. He felt as if something grew up within his throat. He felt sweat all over the body. He could not resist. He started crying which lasted hours.
The teachers were hopeless and they left him alone. He really wanted to do something about mathematics. He wanted to make something that helps him to remember the cruel face of Mathematics.

There was an empty ink bottle on the book shelf. He took it in hand and collected few tears in it. He was so keen on filling the bottle with tears. He determined to live and prove that human beings can breathe without knowing maths. The inkbottle with saltwater would help him remind the oath.

Lesson 1: The Dream

Part: A


He leaned over somebody’s shoulder to have a better look at “Mandap”. It was a Hindu marriage. Lots of flowers arranged in a square manner. As if they are supposed to decorate a virtual cube. Some yellow, some orange and some white flowers. He had never seen a real one except some in movies.

Inside the cube he saw a couple. He could not believe the scene.The bridegroom just looked like him. The so called cold chill ran over his spinal cord. He asked the name of the bride to one of the guests. They said her name is Gracy John. He asked them about what is she doing. They said she is working with some private banking firm.
That was too much for his senses. He tried to get up. It was around 7 am as usual. He felt the familiar magnetic attraction between the steel cot and the shirtless body. But it was weaker than the aroma from his roommate’s hot coffee cup. In no time he had a sip from it. His brain became active and things started working inside it once again.The word ‘wife’ itself was so weird and strange.

He never thought of someone in the place of wife. He felt like laughing on that idea. For him falling in love is the greatest blunder that anyone can do without doubt. As time pass by he developed some sort of hatred towards couples under those trees and boys on terrace with their mobile phones plugged in to ear.He hated it in such a level that, he never bothered about their existence in the world.

If you hate someone or something just ignore it. That is the best insult. But none of the above means that he never looked at girls. He had his own calculations, observations and result sets for each and every girl whose image happened to fall on his retina. His approach to them was more of a scientist. He listened to the stories of friends about how they met, spoke, fell, felt and made it with their girlfriends. He listened to them with a curious face and a sympathetic heart.

He considered himself as a connoisseur [Google says: A person with expert knowledge in the fine arts, A person of informed and discriminating taste] of beauty. He tried to find it in everywhere and everything. It may be a pen, an insect, a voice, a leaf, a shadow, a worm, drop of water or a piece of stone on the road. And as you can guess, beautiful girls decorated top slot in his -“Must need closer look” –list.

For such a guy like him, it was a grave like shame to talk about what happened to him last night. He took his Dream Notebook [the one in which he scribble about all the dreams in a - case by case basis- mostly everyday]. After making a note about the dream under the heading of date, he decided to reveal the news to his roommates. “I just attended my marriage. I met her on the Mandap”. And he explained all what happened.

Logical queries started flowing.
They: How did she look?He : No idea, can’t remember, might be covered with flowers.
They: You are Christian, she is Christian .Then how come the marriage In a Mandap?He : I don’t know!

It was his second year of engineering degree course. Gracy John. Her name bounced vigorously within his skull. He started with the list of all the girl creatures from his pre-nursery days. He could not find a face represented with that name. Primary school? High school? +2 ? college?No luck, there were none. The fast rewind of his first 20 years of life indeed polished some of dusty roads which led to his early school days.


Part: B

It happened when Little John was in third standard. She was a reputed figure in the class because she was a teacher’s kid. Her mom was teaching in some higher class. Her name meant “smiling face” in Hindi. In effect it sounds more like a common Muslim name. She had long curly hair divided in to two- spread over her shoulders, which gave her an instant Jesus Christ look.

It was a lunch interval. Boys and girls were playing together. A game which needed two groups: one group of boys and another one of girls. Both sides should sing something alternatively with some folk dance like steps.
At the end of it this girl tied a knot on him as per the rules since he was the winner.
- On his neck, with a jute string.
- Everybody laughed, he stood still there confused.
- Bell rang, the classes resumed as usual.
That was a start.
As they often say “The world was never same again” for him.

While he was in 4th class she came again to disturb him. This time her name stood for some mathematical term in Sanskrit. She had long curly hair but divided in to many which gave her an instant Lord Krishna look. Her brother was a local singer. Her father was a respected head master of nearby high school. It was a Wednesday in school assembly when he saw her with the new look; with a boy’s cut. The short hair style erased the very basic visible difference between them. Hence he decided that she is no longer a girl.
That was a shock.

While he was in 5th class, she came again to disturb him. This time somebody said her name to him. After all he never believed in any sort of personal acquaintance with any of the girls. Her name stood for a classical music instrument in Tamil. She was the star of school. She topped in all sort of classical dance competitions. Her dance step on top of a brass plate inspired him to break one plate at home. And another one big connection between the two was that her brother was his brother’s friend. One day he got a chance to visit her house. His brother emotionally blackmailed with her name and Little John was forced to accompany him.
When he met her there, he saw the inevitable. She was in Bermuda shorts. That was the first time he saw a Bermuda. It was brown colored with many pockets long up to the knees. Longer than what he had at back home. More colorful, and thicker. This deleted the very visible difference between them. He had to decide that, she is no longer a girl.

Little John decided to stop his experiments with girls right there in order to concentrate energy on more worthy causes. Little had been said about Little John so far. He deserves a better introduction.

On a fine evening the Almighty sent him to earth. When the sun went to the other side of earth, he had his first glimpse of this dark world.
He was a prophet.
The voice of voiceless,
The face of faceless,
The flesh of fleshless,
The soul of soulless.
And yea, he was the sound of silence too.
There were many stars on the sky, not just one to proclaim his arrival.
It was three nurses on the floor who visited him first.
Everybody thought he is a kid.
The truth was he was kid. A kid who is not supposed to grow up.
And yea, his mother was Mary and his father was Joseph.

After initial hiccups, elders were called up to stamp a name on his forehead. They zeroed in “Little John” as a short term name and “John” as a long term name. Everyone called him Little John.
His mother liked music very much. She had a great respect for all who could sing because that was something in which she failed even after many attempts. When she was expecting her child, she took a decision. She was determined make him someone who can sing - even though not exactly a musician. Everyday she played her favorite cassettes for a fixed time. She believed that this will make the expected kid musically inclined. She was almost correct in that.

Lesson 00: First Page

• Lesson 00: First Page
• 
  
• Lesson 1: The Dream
• 
  
• Lesson 2: The University
• 
  
• Lesson 3: City, the universe
• 
  
• Lesson 4: The Awakening
• 
  
• Lesson 5: The Rain
• 
  
• Lesson 6: The Divine Intervention
• 
  
• Lesson 7: The Belief system
• 
  
• Lesson 8: The True Lie
• 
  
• Lesson 9: The Beginning
• 
  
• Lesson10: Feed Back